YPM-2218

I was driving home from California last night when something became blindingly clear to me:
people. do. not. know. how. to. drive. their. cars.

I was heading East down the I10 and kept noticing a black, 2000-something Camry adjusting its speed from around 70-95mph depending. I could not help but notice that this car was all over the road. He would come up on my tail at 90, pass me, and then go 70...for five hours. Now, I generally pat myself on the back for being a good driver (i.e. always use my blinkers, pass only on the left and drive in the right on a two-laner, drive fast when in the fast lane or always, et cetera) but compared to this guy I deserved a medal.

Now I have just mastered the talent of cruise control. I don't think I would have had to use my feet at all last night if not for that damn camry.  So I figured there must be more people in the world who have not quite yet familiarized themselves with the wonderful feature of cruise control.  Allow me to explain it for you:

When arriving at your cruising speed, simply turn on your cruise control and engage. From this point on continue driving along in the right lane and use the left lane only for passing purposes. This allows cars cruising at higher speeds to continue on their way. Should you come upon a car in the left lane who is traveling slower than you (or a semi truck who shamelessly cuts you off) simply use your thumb and press the button on your cruise control to knock down your speed a mile or two. There is no need to use your breaks.

So 2000-something black camry from North Carolina license plate YPM-2218, if you're reading this please follow the instructions.  They were written for you.