You know the feeling when...

so you know that feeling when you just took your last final of the semester and walk out of the classroom and can't quite believe that you're done...

I feel like that with LIFE right now.

I just turned in my last paper and now I have a three month break. three months. say it out loud with me.

three months.

Not only that feeling, but I just got married. I seriously cannot believe it. 

I unlock the door to our apartment and see our laundry and our bed and hear Matt say my wife and see the ring on his finger. and I just can't help but smile and laugh and thank Jesus.

And tomorrow, we leave for our honeymoon. that hasn't sunk in yet either. maybe it's because i have no idea where we are going.

but I am so thankful. 

Emotions. Part two.

overjoyed.
surreal.
giddy.
free.
safe.
home.
in love.
thankful.


These are some of the emotions I have felt since my wedding five days ago. I have learned so much about Matt & marriage during these past five days that I can't believe it. I am pondering a lot these days. And will have so much more time to write after this last darned paper is written and behind me and I am back from my mystery honeymoon.

My dear friend Kaylyn's blog has found me a bit jealous that she is color-coordinating her book case because she is so bored from no school. I can't wait to color coordinate my book case, too!

However, during these past few weeks I have squeezed time in to read snippets from Cold Tangerines for the second time and oh my if you enjoy word art in its most purely divine form, please do yourself a favor and go buy it. 

ok enough procrastinating...back to page 5 of my paper...11 more to go... 

 

Emotions.

Elated.

Overwhelmed.

Disbelief.

Happy.

Stressed.

Excited.

Shock.

Nervous.

Thrilled.

Overjoyed.

Blissful.

Worried.

Awe.

Humbled.

Thankful.

Sad.

Anticipating.

Savoring.

Hopeful.

These are all the emotions running through my heart, mind, soul and body right now, 4 days before the wedding.

Just breathe...

The majority of my life has been spent wishing things would speed up.

When I was in middle school, I couldn't wait to be in junior high.

When I was in junior high, I just wanted to get my driver's license and my first kiss.

When I was in college, I was just waiting for that guy to come along and sweep me off of my feet so I could hurry up and get married and have babies.

But now that I am up against the biggest day of my life I wish things would just

slow down.

I know it is partially my fault for attempting at having the most glorious wedding ceremony and reception given three and a half months of planning all while working and writing insane amounts of papers and finals. 

I logged on to my bb&b registry today and what I saw literally made me gasp for breath.

It said:

8 days 'til our wedding

Not only that, but it is accompanied with this little picture of an alarm clock, which, at this point, appears as more of a mockery than anything...it might as well be laughing at me. When I looked at it, I almost laughed thinking, wow the registry didn't really update itself correctly...and then I realized....it's true.

I only have 8 more days. 

My to-do list is almost borderline laughable. Because we get the keys to our apartment in t-minus 1 hour and 28 minutes. So add the stress of moving two people's belongings to a neverending wedding list and you have got one stressed-out-to-the-max-bride. (and groom, as Matt has taken a very active role in every step of this process)

I was just looking through one of my friend's recent weddings in Montana and the pictures are breath-taking. I found myself realizing that I would be in her same spot in too few amount of days. I will be the one throwing the thursday-before-the-wedding-barbecue for all out of town family and friends. I will be in pictures with the caption reading "bride and groom". This friend just wrote on my facebook "take time to soak it all in. It goes by way too fast." I couldn't agree more.

And it makes me want to slow down. and breath deeply. 

If you know me at all, you know that when I get stressed, I tend to take three quick short rapid intense breaths in and then a long breath out...I have found myself doing that with almost every breath today. 

I really love tazo refresh tea. Almost as much as I love sipping it, I love smelling it. There is something calming and soothing and relaxing about sniffing in this spearmint-y aroma that works as an aromatherapy on my senses and soul. Now that I am getting so stressed, I constantly imagine myself smelling in this scent and I get a fraction of relief.

So, from here on out, I am going to breathe in deeply, as if I have refresh tea semi-permanently implanted under my little nose. For the next 8 days, I am going to take memory photographs of each and every moment.

In Ten Sleeps...

In ten sleeps I will wake up a single woman for the last morning of my life.

In ten sleeps I will marry the man of my dreams.

In ten sleeps I will see people from all walks of my life *(minnesota. arizona. church. california. school. high school. work. family. friends.) all gathered together. under the same sky. to pledge their support.

In ten sleeps I will put on the dress. the one I have been dieing to wear and have Matt finally see me in.

In ten sleeps I will change my last name.

In ten sleeps I will no longer have my own bed. (I'm taking advantage of that fact now, sprawling out every night and using 3 pillows)

In ten sleeps I will finally be able to wear my wedding band I have been sneaking over my finger every few days for a few minutes.

In ten sleeps I will stay in bed an extra few minutes and breath in a few extra deep breaths and pinch myself a few times to make sure this is all real...