As some of you may know, I commute to California one day a week for classes. During this time, I get to think a lot so I thought I would share with you some of my thoughts...
"Gosh I love Matt"
"Do I smell something burning? Is my car on fire?"
"Oh my gosh it's not my car, it is the semi in front of me with sparks flying out it's back end...am I going to die? Is this semi behind me flashing his lights at me? Is my car on fire?!?!? That semi in front of me is running on it's metal wheel!!!! I need to zip around him in case he catches on fire! I don't want to be behind him! But I'm scared! Here goes nothing!"
as I'm crossing the border..."Did that border patrol woman make me stop just so she could look inside to see what I looked like? What if I were Hispanic or African American? Would she have made me stop and get out? That is absolutely awful."
"Oh my gosh this is the brightest moon I have ever seen! My car is so lit up I feel like I have a light on in here somewhere"
"Wow that snowtop mountain is insanely beautiful. I love seeing snow at night because it is still so bright and gorgeous. Thanks God for making something so beautiful for me to look at while I drive."
"Is that a cop behind me? YES! I better move over!"
"I miss Matt."
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
I love...
1. grapefruit juice.
2. filling out applications/forms/paperwork.
3. starbucks' new full-leaf refresh tea.
4. eye shadow.
5. filling in things i've already accomplished in my day planner. (just so i can cross them off)
6. water with absurd amounts of lemon.
7. treadmills.
8. york peppermint patties (especially the valentine's day heart-shaped ones with pink frosting)
9. coming home.
10. butterscotch topping on ice cream.
11. lauren emily kohl.
2. filling out applications/forms/paperwork.
3. starbucks' new full-leaf refresh tea.
4. eye shadow.
5. filling in things i've already accomplished in my day planner. (just so i can cross them off)
6. water with absurd amounts of lemon.
7. treadmills.
8. york peppermint patties (especially the valentine's day heart-shaped ones with pink frosting)
9. coming home.
10. butterscotch topping on ice cream.
11. lauren emily kohl.
Monday, January 25, 2010
One Year Ago Today...
Today marks the beginning of a very amazing year for me. Actually, one year ago tonight, not one year ago today...One year ago this morning, Matt surprised me by driving through the night (thank God I didn't know he was doing it or I would have been up all night worrying about him) and showing up at 5am at my Starbucks in California, where I was opening my store. We had a really wonderful day together (although he was a bit tired) and it came time to head to CCV, where I was interning, when I got a little nervous...
I realized tonight was baptism night at the church. Jeff Vines (senior pastor) had been reading the gospels and realized that on several occasions in scripture, Jesus says, "Repent, and be baptized". He doesn't say, "repent, serve the church for five years, ask all of the questions you need, and when you are ready, be baptized."
back to the story...I walked in to church and saw the blow up pools in the front of the stage and the baptismal all lit up, and my mouth went a little dry. I didn't want Matt running out of the building thinking we were some crazy cult, and I most certainly didn't want him to think I was pressuring him to make this decision. So we sat through the staff meeting and heard about how the night would run. I was assigned the post of receiving the people who came forward and walking them from the front of the audience to the station where they would fill out information, receive an extra t-shirt (if need be) and walk them to the pools. I just assumed Matt would sit in his chair during this time, or he would help the other people who made the decision to be baptized. So Jeff gives an amazing and I mean it, amazing sermon on baptism (you can listen to it here) and calls the volunteers forward...the moment of truth. So Matt and I get up, as planned, and head to the front of the room...my heart pounding out of my chest. Pastor Vines continues to explain that over 500 people were baptized during the morning services, and he expects God to move the same tonight...Then he says, "If you want to be baptized, please do it today. Please don't wait. Please don't be embarrassed, or make excuses any more" and Matt turns to the coordinator of this event and says, "I want to be the first one to be baptized" and...
the rest of the night is a sheer blur...
All that I know is that one year ago today, Matt's life changed. He has a light in his eyes that was not there 366 days ago. I am so proud of the Christian man he has become in this short year's time and I cannot wait to see what God does with him in the future.
Happy birthday baby, and happy 1 year spiritual birthday. I love you.
I realized tonight was baptism night at the church. Jeff Vines (senior pastor) had been reading the gospels and realized that on several occasions in scripture, Jesus says, "Repent, and be baptized". He doesn't say, "repent, serve the church for five years, ask all of the questions you need, and when you are ready, be baptized."
back to the story...I walked in to church and saw the blow up pools in the front of the stage and the baptismal all lit up, and my mouth went a little dry. I didn't want Matt running out of the building thinking we were some crazy cult, and I most certainly didn't want him to think I was pressuring him to make this decision. So we sat through the staff meeting and heard about how the night would run. I was assigned the post of receiving the people who came forward and walking them from the front of the audience to the station where they would fill out information, receive an extra t-shirt (if need be) and walk them to the pools. I just assumed Matt would sit in his chair during this time, or he would help the other people who made the decision to be baptized. So Jeff gives an amazing and I mean it, amazing sermon on baptism (you can listen to it here) and calls the volunteers forward...the moment of truth. So Matt and I get up, as planned, and head to the front of the room...my heart pounding out of my chest. Pastor Vines continues to explain that over 500 people were baptized during the morning services, and he expects God to move the same tonight...Then he says, "If you want to be baptized, please do it today. Please don't wait. Please don't be embarrassed, or make excuses any more" and Matt turns to the coordinator of this event and says, "I want to be the first one to be baptized" and...
the rest of the night is a sheer blur...
All that I know is that one year ago today, Matt's life changed. He has a light in his eyes that was not there 366 days ago. I am so proud of the Christian man he has become in this short year's time and I cannot wait to see what God does with him in the future.
Happy birthday baby, and happy 1 year spiritual birthday. I love you.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
I choose...
This is an excerpt from When God Whispers Your Name by Max Lucado. I read this book years ago, but my mom read this little snippet during a family bible study a week ago and it gripped me all over again. I would say I love the part when... but, really, I just love the whole thing so much. I hope this brings refreshment to your souls...
Each Day. . .
It's quiet. It's early. My coffee is hot. The sky is still black. The world is still asleep. The day is coming.
In a few moments the day will arrive. It will roar down the track with the rising of the sun. The stillness of the dawn will be exchanged for the noise of the day. The calm of solitude will be replaced by the pounding pace of the human race. The refuge of the early morning will be invaded by decisions to be made and deadlines to be met.
For the next twelve hours I will be exposed to the day's demands. It is now that I must make a choice.
Because of Calvary, I'm free to choose. And so I choose.
I CHOOSE .LOVE,. . .
No occasion justifies hatred; no injustice warrants bitterness. I choose love. Today I will love God and what God loves.
I CHOOSE JOY. . .
I will invite my God to be the God of circumstance. I will refuse the temptation to be cynical. . . the tool of the lazy thinker. I will refuse to see people as anything less than human beings, created by God. I will refuse to see any problem as anything less than an opportunity to see God.
I CHOOSE PEACE. . .
I will live forgiven. I will forgive so that I may live.
I CHOOSE PATIENCE. . .
I will overlook the inconveniences of the world. Instead of cursing the one who takes my place, I'll invite him to do so. Rather than complain that the wait is too long, I will thank God for a moment to pray. Instead of clinching my fist at new assignments, I will face them with joy and courage.
I CHOOSE KINDNESS. . .
I will be kind to the poor, for they are alone. Kind to the rich, for they are afraid. And kind to the unkind, for such is how God has treated me.
I CHOOSE GOODNESS. . .
I will go without a dollar before I take a dishonest one. I will be overlooked before I will boast. I will confess before I will accuse. I choose goodness.
I CHOOSE FAITHFULNESS. . .
Today I will keep my promises. My debtors will not regret their trust. My associates will not question my word. My wife will not question my love. And my children will never fear that their father will not come home.
I CHOOSE GENTLENESS. . .
Nothing is won by force. I choose to be gentle. If I raise my voice may it be only in praise. If I clench my fist, may it be only in prayer. If I make a. demand, may it be only of myself
I CHOOSE SELF-CONTROL. . .
I am a spiritual being. . . . After this body is dead, my spirit will soar. I refuse to let what will rot, rule the eternal. I choose self-comrol. I will be drunk only by joy. I will be impassioned only by my faith. I will be influenced only by God. I will be taught only by Christ. I choose self-control.
Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. To these I commit my day. If I succeed, I will give thanks. In fail, I will seek his grace. And then, when this day is done, I will place my head on my pillow and rest.
Each Day. . .
It's quiet. It's early. My coffee is hot. The sky is still black. The world is still asleep. The day is coming.
In a few moments the day will arrive. It will roar down the track with the rising of the sun. The stillness of the dawn will be exchanged for the noise of the day. The calm of solitude will be replaced by the pounding pace of the human race. The refuge of the early morning will be invaded by decisions to be made and deadlines to be met.
For the next twelve hours I will be exposed to the day's demands. It is now that I must make a choice.
Because of Calvary, I'm free to choose. And so I choose.
I CHOOSE .LOVE,. . .
No occasion justifies hatred; no injustice warrants bitterness. I choose love. Today I will love God and what God loves.
I CHOOSE JOY. . .
I will invite my God to be the God of circumstance. I will refuse the temptation to be cynical. . . the tool of the lazy thinker. I will refuse to see people as anything less than human beings, created by God. I will refuse to see any problem as anything less than an opportunity to see God.
I CHOOSE PEACE. . .
I will live forgiven. I will forgive so that I may live.
I CHOOSE PATIENCE. . .
I will overlook the inconveniences of the world. Instead of cursing the one who takes my place, I'll invite him to do so. Rather than complain that the wait is too long, I will thank God for a moment to pray. Instead of clinching my fist at new assignments, I will face them with joy and courage.
I CHOOSE KINDNESS. . .
I will be kind to the poor, for they are alone. Kind to the rich, for they are afraid. And kind to the unkind, for such is how God has treated me.
I CHOOSE GOODNESS. . .
I will go without a dollar before I take a dishonest one. I will be overlooked before I will boast. I will confess before I will accuse. I choose goodness.
I CHOOSE FAITHFULNESS. . .
Today I will keep my promises. My debtors will not regret their trust. My associates will not question my word. My wife will not question my love. And my children will never fear that their father will not come home.
I CHOOSE GENTLENESS. . .
Nothing is won by force. I choose to be gentle. If I raise my voice may it be only in praise. If I clench my fist, may it be only in prayer. If I make a. demand, may it be only of myself
I CHOOSE SELF-CONTROL. . .
I am a spiritual being. . . . After this body is dead, my spirit will soar. I refuse to let what will rot, rule the eternal. I choose self-comrol. I will be drunk only by joy. I will be impassioned only by my faith. I will be influenced only by God. I will be taught only by Christ. I choose self-control.
Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. To these I commit my day. If I succeed, I will give thanks. In fail, I will seek his grace. And then, when this day is done, I will place my head on my pillow and rest.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
I love...
1) matt.
2) days when it is so rainy, new lakes form in neighborhood parks.
3) soup & salad from Olive Garden.
4) scarves.
5) bit-o-honey.
6) candles.
7) blankets.
8) disneyland.
9) t.c. eggington's brunchery.
10) clean sheets.
11) the number eleven.
2) days when it is so rainy, new lakes form in neighborhood parks.
3) soup & salad from Olive Garden.
4) scarves.
5) bit-o-honey.
6) candles.
7) blankets.
8) disneyland.
9) t.c. eggington's brunchery.
10) clean sheets.
11) the number eleven.
week of all weeks...
For those of you who know me well, you know that I am a lover of rain. I can never ever ever get enough of it. It is so beautiful and cozy and offers something so spiritual to my soul. It's almost like God is just wiping out all of the dirt and muck and mire of my soul and cleaning it brand new. Well this week we have had a record amount of rain in az. it has been absolutely beautiful. and I am going to olive garden to have soup and salad with momma to celebrate this beautiful weather.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Nightmares...
I am sitting at home right now, watching one of my guilty pleasures (one of many) Say Yes To The Dress, and fantasizing about when it will be my turn. My turn to walk in to a shop for the first time and try on a beautiful white wedding dress...for a long time I didn't think that day would ever happen for me. (For a lot of the reasons I made my 2010 resolutions) But I have patience. And belief that my day will come...
which reminds me...
I have been having some of the strangest dreams/nightmares lately...
I have been dreaming that Matt is proposing and the first dream, a delivery man drops me off a box in my room, has me sign for it, and leaves...I open the box and it's a ring...an ugly ring...and he is nowhere to be found.
my most recent of dreams, he proposed with a quartz looking cloudy diamond...let me explain...
we have family cabin in payson with a dried out river bed. We oft go searching for treasures in this river bed (mostly with the little girls who LOVE looking for 'diamonds' as they call them) and return with dozens of little pieces of quartz that are usually, honestly, very pretty...but not for an engagement ring (wink wink)
back to the dream...
not only was it quartz, but I turned it over and looked at the diamond from the bottom and it was black. and it was a tiny band. I'm Italian and have been blessed with Italian, Noni hands. They are large. I need a big band. This ring was, let's just say, less than thrilling.
I have been warned from my friends in my program that these dreams would only continue and may even get worse (as a wedding ensues)
anyway...just reminded of my nightmares...:)
which reminds me...
I have been having some of the strangest dreams/nightmares lately...
I have been dreaming that Matt is proposing and the first dream, a delivery man drops me off a box in my room, has me sign for it, and leaves...I open the box and it's a ring...an ugly ring...and he is nowhere to be found.
my most recent of dreams, he proposed with a quartz looking cloudy diamond...let me explain...
we have family cabin in payson with a dried out river bed. We oft go searching for treasures in this river bed (mostly with the little girls who LOVE looking for 'diamonds' as they call them) and return with dozens of little pieces of quartz that are usually, honestly, very pretty...but not for an engagement ring (wink wink)
back to the dream...
not only was it quartz, but I turned it over and looked at the diamond from the bottom and it was black. and it was a tiny band. I'm Italian and have been blessed with Italian, Noni hands. They are large. I need a big band. This ring was, let's just say, less than thrilling.
I have been warned from my friends in my program that these dreams would only continue and may even get worse (as a wedding ensues)
anyway...just reminded of my nightmares...:)
Thursday, January 14, 2010
It's a New Year
Well, the hype of 2010 has settled, the confetti has fallen, so I will now begin making my list of resolutions for this great new year. I figured if I made a list January 1 it would be based on emotion and all of these great high expectations that leave me feeling unsettled and disappointed. So here they are folks...in no certain order
1. memorize scripture - my plan for this is to write out note cards and take them on my weekly commute from arizona to california.
2. love myself more - i have no plan for this yet...just cease to believe what hollywood says, as sara bareilles says, "The situation's always the same You got your wolves in their clothes whispering Hollywood's name Stealing gold from the silver they see
But it's not me"
3. do not worry - i will listen to the sermon from mars hill on not worrying (as much as needed until i believe it)
4. believe in myself - i tend to become overwhelmed easily, which causes me to doubt myself. this year i will have confidence in myself.
I decided I did not want to make any resolutions that would do anything but uplift and encourage me. If I fail, I will not chastise myself, but rather seek God's face.
What are some of your resolutions?
1. memorize scripture - my plan for this is to write out note cards and take them on my weekly commute from arizona to california.
2. love myself more - i have no plan for this yet...just cease to believe what hollywood says, as sara bareilles says, "The situation's always the same You got your wolves in their clothes whispering Hollywood's name Stealing gold from the silver they see
But it's not me"
3. do not worry - i will listen to the sermon from mars hill on not worrying (as much as needed until i believe it)
4. believe in myself - i tend to become overwhelmed easily, which causes me to doubt myself. this year i will have confidence in myself.
I decided I did not want to make any resolutions that would do anything but uplift and encourage me. If I fail, I will not chastise myself, but rather seek God's face.
What are some of your resolutions?
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