truth or dare...

remember that childhood game?

I always hated it. Well, actually I didn't mind the truth part but I always always always hated the dare part. Because it always required me to perform some ridiculous, embarrassing task that I never wanted to do and usually got out of...so I always chose truth...

and I choose it again today...

When Matt & I got engaged, everyone we talked to immediately proclaimed, "You guys will LOVE being married!" All we heard for 3 months was every phenomenal, wonderful, warm, fuzzy thing about marriage. And I went in to it with the prideful mentality of thinking that everyone else's marital problems would never happen to us because our dating life was pretty un-hindered from fighting or problems...I just assumed it would continue in to marriage with dancing, kissing, sex (finally!), cooking, happy happy happy....

And it has been all of those things at one moment or another. 

But people failed to mention the reality of marriage...

Because Matt & I never lived together before we were married the past few months have been a decent adjustment. So far, I have learned:

• boys have a LOT of laundry
• Matt LOVES to sit on the bed in the morning and put on his socks and shoes (while I am trying to sleep and the bed is shaking as if we were in an earthquake)
• He also loves to lift up my sleep mask (yes, I wear and love sleep masks) to ask me if his socks match and his outfit looks ok
• he cannot sleep with a fan on...dena...you understand the severity of this problem....
• he leaves dirty dishes outside the sink on the counter next to it...hmmm...not in it, not in the dishwasher, but outside the sink all together 

So yeah, needless to say, it's been an adjustment...

My love, Sarah, who is engaged, came over for dinner the other night  and asked me all about married life. and I gave her the honest, raw truth...to which she responded "thank you so much. I need to hear this stuff. because we keep hearing all of the romantic sides of it but I need to hear the truth."


And unfortunately, my longesttimebestestfriendandbridesman, Lee, asked the simple question to me last week, "how's married life" to which I responded with a fifteen minute cry session that was probably way more than he was prepared to hear to that simple question. But I chose truth. I don't want mislead those who are closest to me in my life with this prideful illusion that we are swirling around in the clouds of blissfulness all the time...and his response was the most comforting thing I could have ever imagined...he said, "Carley, every one of my friends who has gotten married in the past year have all told me the exact same thing."

ahhh...I don't feel so screwed up....


The most amazing thing about being married, so far, is that it has driven me closer to Jesus. I mean closer than I have ever been before. And Jesus has become so real and personal to me in such an intimate way.

Last week, in particular, I was having a really rough time. Because my parents moved and matt is in his new, dream job (which takes him away from me for longer than I would like) and I was just having a pity party...and I came to my favorite coffee shop (where I am right now) to read scripture and my favorite devotional, "Streams in the Desert" (by L.B. Cowman) and I just felt God's arms envelope me. Every word I read for the next two hours was straight from God's mouth to my heart. It was such a sweet salve on my wounds and hurts and heartaches.

I am reading this book, Sacred Marriage (by Gary Thomas) which I have blogged about in previous posts, and it is just changing my whole world. It is forcing me to realize that the number one goal in every Christian's life is to glorify God. The same is true in a marriage relationship. It is not to glorify each other or make each other as happy as possible...and I think that was what Matt & I were trying to do for one another. We were trying everything in our power, to make each other happy. But we were not trying to glorify God above that.

The reason this is so groundbreaking is because this mindset forces me to place myself last. always.
Because if I am truly living out the Gospel in my every day life, than I am first and foremost dieing to myself every single day. I am putting my own agenda, happiness and desires aside in order to enable God's to reign in my life and in my marriage. Obviously, Gary says it all a lot more eloquently and beautifully than me so quit reading my blog and read his book!

Anyways, all of this to say we are figuring this thing out. And, at the end of the day I hope and pray to bring glory and honor to Jesus. And the truth is I am madly in love with my husband and so excited to be on this journey with him by my side (dirty dishes and all). 

P.S. here are a list of things I do that probably bug him

• my hair is all over the bathroom. I constantly paper towel our floor but I really do lose hair at a miraculous rate...it's amazing there is any left on my head
• I leave my wet towel on the bed after I shower sometimes
• I make him walk me out to my car before I open at 3:45am because I am scared I will get nabbed
• I still sleep with a teddy bear on the other side of me...and that is the real truth...I just got so used to tucking it under my arm and no husband can replace that little soft cushy bear...