"That's Just the Way I Am"

My mom is amazing.

Growing up in her household was nothing short of straight Proverbs 31.

Most mornings, I would wake up and find she and my dad curled up in a blanket, reading their Bibles, sipping hot juice (she has this obsession with heating up any kind of juice you can think of).

One year, this mother of mine just happened to take on more than a mother-like role in my life and chose also to mentor me. I remember it like it was yesterday.

We would sit down, around our kitchen table with our Bibles open and read. We targeted in on 1 Corinthians 13. I was in a relationship with a boy at the time that was decently serious (for a high school relationship) and my mom wanted me to be the best possible partner I could be. So we started with 1 Corinthians 13. I remember her drawing a picture of an outline of a body and coloring in a few spots. She would continue on to explain that the spots were things about someone you don't particularly care for (moody, messy, etc...all of the things that get under your skin)

Everyone has these spots.

If we get caught up on these spots, they ruin the whole body and all of the good that person possesses.


She also would teach me about "That's Just the Way I Am".

This is a phrase I literally think about every. single. day. 

I have it written in my Bible where the phrase is circled with a scratch through the middle.

This reminds me all of the time not to settle with "the way I am." My shortcomings should not be something to fall back on or use as an excuse. Rather, they should be something I am aware of and strive to overcome.

I think a lot of people rest in "that's just the way I am" because it's easier.

It's easier than facing those spots in yourself that are more difficult to admit.

It's time to face these spots in myself.


Yesterday I had one of those conversations you never really want to have with someone. And this person was confronting some of my 'spots'.

Spots that I have hidden underneath, demanding 'that's just the way I am.'

I will be vulnerable and allow you to see some of my 'spots'

1. i never say goodbye. avoid it at all costs. I actually took a personality test my senior year of undergrad and found that part of my personality (ENFP) hates saying goodbye. I used to excuse myself because I would rather crawl out underneath the door than give a formal goodbye. But one friend informed me that I am being rude by doing so, and not allowing others who may actually want to say goodbye to me the ability to do so.

2. I am the least confrontational person in the world. I avoid confrontation even more than I avoid goodbyes. I literally freeze up. Literally.

3. I guess I can get pretty defensive and I do not really take criticism all that well. I try to accept it, but usually end up in tears.



That being said, the person who confronted me (and knew all of these spots about me) almost did not do so because they wanted to avoid a possible mud-slinging contest.

So I had to chin up. put on my big girl pants. and face the music.

I had to take a deep breath, realize that they were coming to me from a place of deep love and view it from that reality...which is exactly what they were trying to do.

So thank you. you know who you are. I really can't thank you enough for loving me enough to confront me and refuse to let me be 'just the way I am'.