Being around someone who is at the very end of their lifetime gives me a certain clarity on living. It shifts my thinking from what usually clouds my thoughts (clothes, wedding, materialism, my appearance, homework, etc.) to what really, actually matters.
Last night, my family was enjoying a 100% irish meal (corn beef, cabbage, & potatoes and Guinness) and my aunt was literally cutting the green frosted cake when my mom's phone rang. It was my dad. He informed my mom that my Noni (see post below), who has been in the hospital for a week or so, took a turn for the worse. Matt, my mom & I rushed out the door and headed for Mercy Gilbert Hospital.
We got there and saw my precious Noni, fighting for her every breath. For the next two hours or so, we (dad, mom, Matt, Casey, Katelyn, and I) took turns holding her hands, kissing her forehead, touching her legs, praying for her and reading her passages of scripture. We got to say all of our I love you's and goodbyes and for that, I will forever be grateful.
Today, there has been a 'parade of love' (as my mom lovingly refers to it) ushering through her room. Her sisters, kids, cousins, grandkids, friends, etc. etc. etc. have been coming and going, reminding my family of the legacy of love this woman leaves behind.
Last night, my Noni just kept repeating "I want to go home. I want to go home. I want to see Jesus." Because, for my Noni and our whole family, home is not our residence in Chandler but rather, home is in heaven, with Jesus.
Right now, at Mission Community Church, our senior pastor Mark is taking us through a series called "Amazing Grace" (please please please go listen to the podcasts if you want. Search for Mark Connelly on iTunes and download his sermon series. you will not be disappointed or go
here). He is taking stories from the Bible where God showed miraculous levels of grace on undeserving people. So how come so many people think that same grace does not extend to __________ (
insert specific sin here)?
I remember, when I worked for Centex Homes, I would have several conversations with my co-worker Sherry. I would invite her to come to church with me and her
constant response was, "If I walked in, that place would burn to the ground. My sins are too vast and too great that I would be cast out the second I walked in the door". I feel like this is the response of so many of my non-Christian friends. Everyone is so hung up on their sins or getting their lives cleaned up
before they enter through the doors of church.
But that is the exact. opposite.
Church is not about being crystal clean before you enter. Jesus calls us
while we are still sinners. He
died for us while we were sinners. He did not die for us, with the notion that we would have to become perfect in order to receive salvation. He does not expect that a "church be a museum for saints, but rather, a hospital for sinners" (Brennan Manning). Over the years, I think Church has become, for many people, a place of judgment and condemnation instead of a place of refuge and comfort.
Right now at church, Matt & I have the privilege of co-teaching a new believer's class called "Starting Point". This class is very much a conversation more than a lecture and Matt and I lead a table of 4 women (Denise, Sue, Vicky & Heidi). All of these women are very very recent new-found Christians. The first Sunday, I asked each of us to go around the table and explain why they are in the class and share a little bit about their faith journey.
For the next half hour, I listened while woman after woman shared her story. I was absolutely shocked that each and every single woman had not come from a Christian home or background at all, and they had all been in and out of church attendance for years and years, but each one. kept. coming. back. to. Jesus.
Every single one of them explained how they kept searching for Jesus.
Jesus. Not Joseph Smith. Not Mohammed. Not the Dalai Lama. Not Buddha.
Jesus.
I think that is very telling of the true, longing of our hearts. There is a deep-seeded yearning for Jesus. Those of us who have found this Jesus and this faith are not still searching and at unrest. We rest in the saving knowledge of our Lord. This Jesus who sacrificed His life, so that we could live eternally.
And that's what really matters.
