I have resigned to the reality that whenever I open at my store (my alarm is set for 2:42am) I am extremely susceptible to spiritual attack. I have noticed this trend happening more and more lately and I am wondering if it is because I am so physically exhausted (and naps don't really help). After finishing up at work today, I headed home and zoned out for literally two hours just staring in to nothingness, feeling anxious, overwhelmed, scared, not-enough, just...attacked. So I tried to nap. I still woke up feeling off. Rather than staring I decided to get up and busy myself by emptying the dishwasher, tidying up odds and ends around the house, etc. but I still felt anxious. So I sat down and read Streams in the Desert praying that I would come away with a sense of calm. ding ding ding! The poem at the end of the vignette said this:

Utterly abandoned to the Holy Ghost!
Seeking all His fullness, whatever the cost;
Cutting all the moorings, launching in the deep
Of His mighty power - strong to save and keep

Utterly abandoned to the Holy Ghost!
Oh! The sinking, sinking, until self is lost!
Until the emptied vessel is broken at His feet;
Waiting till His filling shall make the work complete.

Utterly abandoned to the will of God;
Seeking for no other path than my Master trod;
Leaving ease and pleasure, making Him my choice,
Waiting for His guidance, listening for His voice.

Utterly Abandoned! No will of my own;
For time and for eternity, His, and His alone;
All my plans and purposes lost in His sweet will,
Having nothing, yet in Him all possessing still.

Utterly abandoned! It's so sweet to be
Captive in His bonds of love yet wondrously free;
Free from sin's entanglements, free from doubt and fear,
Free from every worry, burden, grief or care.

Utterly abandoned! Oh, the rest is sweet,
As I tarry, waiting, at His blessed feet;
Waiting for the coming of the Guest divine,
Who my inmost being will perfectly refine.

Lo He comes and fills me, Holy Spirit sweet!
I, in Him, am satisfied! I, in Him, complete!
And the light within my soul will nevermore grow dim
While I keep my covenant - abandoned unto Him!"


I simply do not know where I would be on my rough days without Christ acting as my refuge. I am so humbled by this reality day in and day out. O, Praise Him.