you must watch this until the very end... approximately 4:19 or so....
Monday, April 25, 2011
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
I have resigned to the reality that whenever I open at my store (my alarm is set for 2:42am) I am extremely susceptible to spiritual attack. I have noticed this trend happening more and more lately and I am wondering if it is because I am so physically exhausted (and naps don't really help). After finishing up at work today, I headed home and zoned out for literally two hours just staring in to nothingness, feeling anxious, overwhelmed, scared, not-enough, just...attacked. So I tried to nap. I still woke up feeling off. Rather than staring I decided to get up and busy myself by emptying the dishwasher, tidying up odds and ends around the house, etc. but I still felt anxious. So I sat down and read Streams in the Desert praying that I would come away with a sense of calm. ding ding ding! The poem at the end of the vignette said this:
Utterly abandoned to the Holy Ghost!
Seeking all His fullness, whatever the cost;
Cutting all the moorings, launching in the deep
Of His mighty power - strong to save and keep
Utterly abandoned to the Holy Ghost!
Oh! The sinking, sinking, until self is lost!
Until the emptied vessel is broken at His feet;
Waiting till His filling shall make the work complete.
Utterly abandoned to the will of God;
Seeking for no other path than my Master trod;
Leaving ease and pleasure, making Him my choice,
Waiting for His guidance, listening for His voice.
Utterly Abandoned! No will of my own;
For time and for eternity, His, and His alone;
All my plans and purposes lost in His sweet will,
Having nothing, yet in Him all possessing still.
Utterly abandoned! It's so sweet to be
Captive in His bonds of love yet wondrously free;
Free from sin's entanglements, free from doubt and fear,
Free from every worry, burden, grief or care.
Utterly abandoned! Oh, the rest is sweet,
As I tarry, waiting, at His blessed feet;
Waiting for the coming of the Guest divine,
Who my inmost being will perfectly refine.
Lo He comes and fills me, Holy Spirit sweet!
I, in Him, am satisfied! I, in Him, complete!
And the light within my soul will nevermore grow dim
While I keep my covenant - abandoned unto Him!"
I simply do not know where I would be on my rough days without Christ acting as my refuge. I am so humbled by this reality day in and day out. O, Praise Him.
Utterly abandoned to the Holy Ghost!
Seeking all His fullness, whatever the cost;
Cutting all the moorings, launching in the deep
Of His mighty power - strong to save and keep
Utterly abandoned to the Holy Ghost!
Oh! The sinking, sinking, until self is lost!
Until the emptied vessel is broken at His feet;
Waiting till His filling shall make the work complete.
Utterly abandoned to the will of God;
Seeking for no other path than my Master trod;
Leaving ease and pleasure, making Him my choice,
Waiting for His guidance, listening for His voice.
Utterly Abandoned! No will of my own;
For time and for eternity, His, and His alone;
All my plans and purposes lost in His sweet will,
Having nothing, yet in Him all possessing still.
Utterly abandoned! It's so sweet to be
Captive in His bonds of love yet wondrously free;
Free from sin's entanglements, free from doubt and fear,
Free from every worry, burden, grief or care.
Utterly abandoned! Oh, the rest is sweet,
As I tarry, waiting, at His blessed feet;
Waiting for the coming of the Guest divine,
Who my inmost being will perfectly refine.
Lo He comes and fills me, Holy Spirit sweet!
I, in Him, am satisfied! I, in Him, complete!
And the light within my soul will nevermore grow dim
While I keep my covenant - abandoned unto Him!"
I simply do not know where I would be on my rough days without Christ acting as my refuge. I am so humbled by this reality day in and day out. O, Praise Him.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
crafty time...
I have had this apothecary-esque cabinet/dresser since I was in high school. It has followed me around for the past few apartments and currently sits in the hallway to our bathroom....one problem...
it is ugly as all get out! I painted it with little stars and suns one day because I thought it was super cute...but I was wrong...
don't believe me? check this thing out...
So for the past few years I have wanted to fix it somehow but never got around to it. And when it followed us to our new apartment and takes up a prominent place in our apartment, I vowed it would be the first thing I did when I got a free day...that day came today!
I spent the day running to hobby lobby (twice) and sanding and sanding and sanding some more...I seriously didn't even go to the gym because I was a sanding machine! but it was totally worth it...because here is the finished product! for the total price of $15.72!
it is ugly as all get out! I painted it with little stars and suns one day because I thought it was super cute...but I was wrong...
don't believe me? check this thing out...
So for the past few years I have wanted to fix it somehow but never got around to it. And when it followed us to our new apartment and takes up a prominent place in our apartment, I vowed it would be the first thing I did when I got a free day...that day came today!
I spent the day running to hobby lobby (twice) and sanding and sanding and sanding some more...I seriously didn't even go to the gym because I was a sanding machine! but it was totally worth it...because here is the finished product! for the total price of $15.72!
Monday, April 18, 2011
On the cusp and at the tale...
So I am on the tail end of something and the cusp of something else.
On the one end, I am ending my career as a student. I have been a student for approximately 25 years of my life. During those 25 years, I have experienced several highs and several lows. Through it all, I can honestly say that I love being a student. I thrive in a classroom setting and eagerly approach homework (call me crazy, I know) and papers. I learned through taking the Strengths Finder that one of my strengths is that I am a Learner. Knowing that, at this point, I am at the end of my educational road is a very sad thing for me, actually. Now that graduation is so close, so many of my friends, co-workers and family are asking me how excited I am about graduating. Each time these questions are posed, I literally have to bite my lip and hold back tears because I am so not excited.
Well, I am and I am not, simultaneously.
I am looking forward to engaging in friendships that I have wanted to strengthen but had to study.
I am looking forward to sleeping in the same bed as Matt every night of the week.
I am looking forward to having more time in my day.
I am looking forward to finding a small group that Matt & I can be in because I won't be in California two nights of the week.
I am looking forward to reading books I want to read and study topics I want to study.
I am looking forward to watching every NFL game next season because I had to drive during almost every Sunday game and had class til 10pm for Monday night football.
but...
I will miss driving, for five hours, all by myself, listening to sermons and praising God for five un-interrupted hours.
I will miss participating in intellectually stimulating conversations with classmates of all ages, nationalities, denominations, etc.
I will miss seeing those who have become so dear to me for the past three years.
I will miss the theology library at APU more than I can even say. Can't think about that one yet.
So while I am on the tale end of seminary, I find myself at the cusp of being in a "grown up" job! Exciting! I cannot wait to put the things I have learned for the past three years to use. And even though I will not be writing papers or reading books for exams anymore, I can still love God with my mind on my own.
I keep remembering my "seasons" post from a week or so ago. I seriously wrote that post more for me than anyone. Because I realize right now that my season is changing. And I am trying so hard to praise Jesus for every day. Last week I found myself on the brink of an anxiety attack because big girl jobs are scary, especially when I'm not sure where I will end up, and I had to remind myself that even this is a season.
So whether on the cusp or at the tale end, I will trust that my God is not surprised by any of this. I will graduate and I will find a job but through it all, God will be there.
One of my kindreds shared a verse with me awhile ago that has really comforted me.
Through the dangers and fears of escaping Egyptian enslavement, the Israelites came upon the Red Sea. This sea was vast. It was huge. It was scary. But Moses says to this people, "The Lord will fight for you, you need only be still." (Exodus 14:14)
This verse has remained in my mind (and inscribed in blue pen on my hand) and has brought my anxiety level down when I am too scared to think about the future. I know that I serve the same God who brought the Israelites through the Red Sea and He can certainly bring me through seminary and in to a job.
ps. I just saved $20 couponing :)
On the one end, I am ending my career as a student. I have been a student for approximately 25 years of my life. During those 25 years, I have experienced several highs and several lows. Through it all, I can honestly say that I love being a student. I thrive in a classroom setting and eagerly approach homework (call me crazy, I know) and papers. I learned through taking the Strengths Finder that one of my strengths is that I am a Learner. Knowing that, at this point, I am at the end of my educational road is a very sad thing for me, actually. Now that graduation is so close, so many of my friends, co-workers and family are asking me how excited I am about graduating. Each time these questions are posed, I literally have to bite my lip and hold back tears because I am so not excited.
Well, I am and I am not, simultaneously.
I am looking forward to engaging in friendships that I have wanted to strengthen but had to study.
I am looking forward to sleeping in the same bed as Matt every night of the week.
I am looking forward to having more time in my day.
I am looking forward to finding a small group that Matt & I can be in because I won't be in California two nights of the week.
I am looking forward to reading books I want to read and study topics I want to study.
I am looking forward to watching every NFL game next season because I had to drive during almost every Sunday game and had class til 10pm for Monday night football.
but...
I will miss driving, for five hours, all by myself, listening to sermons and praising God for five un-interrupted hours.
I will miss participating in intellectually stimulating conversations with classmates of all ages, nationalities, denominations, etc.
I will miss seeing those who have become so dear to me for the past three years.
I will miss the theology library at APU more than I can even say. Can't think about that one yet.
So while I am on the tale end of seminary, I find myself at the cusp of being in a "grown up" job! Exciting! I cannot wait to put the things I have learned for the past three years to use. And even though I will not be writing papers or reading books for exams anymore, I can still love God with my mind on my own.
I keep remembering my "seasons" post from a week or so ago. I seriously wrote that post more for me than anyone. Because I realize right now that my season is changing. And I am trying so hard to praise Jesus for every day. Last week I found myself on the brink of an anxiety attack because big girl jobs are scary, especially when I'm not sure where I will end up, and I had to remind myself that even this is a season.
So whether on the cusp or at the tale end, I will trust that my God is not surprised by any of this. I will graduate and I will find a job but through it all, God will be there.
One of my kindreds shared a verse with me awhile ago that has really comforted me.
Through the dangers and fears of escaping Egyptian enslavement, the Israelites came upon the Red Sea. This sea was vast. It was huge. It was scary. But Moses says to this people, "The Lord will fight for you, you need only be still." (Exodus 14:14)
This verse has remained in my mind (and inscribed in blue pen on my hand) and has brought my anxiety level down when I am too scared to think about the future. I know that I serve the same God who brought the Israelites through the Red Sea and He can certainly bring me through seminary and in to a job.
ps. I just saved $20 couponing :)
Friday, April 8, 2011
Amen.
It is Jesus that you seek when you dream of happiness; he is waiting for you when nothing else you find satisfies you; he is the beauty which you are so attracted; it is he who provokes you with that thirst for fullness that will not let you settle for compromise; it is he who urges you to shed the masks of false life; it is he who reads in your hearts your most genuine choices, the choices that others try to stifle. It is Jesus who stirs in you the desire to do something great with your lives, the will to follow an ideal, the refusal to allow yourselves to be grounded down by mediocrity the courage to commit yourselves humble and patiently to improving yourselves and society, making the world more human and more fraternal.
-Pope John Paul II
Praise Jesus.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Couponing.
Ok. So yesterday I decided to take a half hour break from writing a paper and I watched this new show on TLC...Extreme Couponing. OH EM GEE this show is crazy ridiculous. While I realize this is obviously an extreme case of saving money, it has inspired Matt & me to start saving and cutting the coupons that I always throw away. I am kind of excited to see how much coupons will save us and, while it might not be $1000 of groceries for $6.46 (true story) I hope it at least saves us something! :)
Maybe you should join us in saving those ads you usually throw away and see if you can put them to use! Or maybe you all already clip coupons and it's about time I got on board...
Maybe you should join us in saving those ads you usually throw away and see if you can put them to use! Or maybe you all already clip coupons and it's about time I got on board...
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