Today has been...well...rough.
For no reason in particular. But do you ever have one of those days where life just seems to get you down? Well, December 6, you are one of those days for me.
I have hit my 12-week slump of coming out to California and I just desperately miss my husband. The alarm went off this morning at 5:23am and I woke up just wanting to burst in to tears. Because I was so warm and cozy and cuddled up in Matt's arms. And I knew that in two hours I would be saying goodbye. again. Then we got in the car and I realized half way to the airport that I left my phone and charger on my nightstand.
I have been spending the day looking at pictures of myself that are less-than-beautiful. Sitting in classes where I feel out-of-my-league. Looking at blogs of wives who are on-top-of-everything (and realizing that my Christmas decorations consist of one wreath hanging on our door). Staring at a study guide that seems impossible to cram into my brain by next week. I just feel internally beat up. and so tired.
So I remembered a verse that my mom always used to tell me that we should not look at the things God has given others..and I can't even find the reference. And that's bugging me, too.
So anyways, I realize I only have one more week of commuting before a month long hiatus. So I am going to power through. But in the mean time, here is my to do list during break, which I'm already so excited for:
TO DO OVER CHRISTMAS BREAK:
SAND AND PAINT CABINET
CHRISTMAS/THANK YOU CARDS
COLOR COORDINATE BOOK SHELF
HANG CURTAINS
READ FOR PLEASURE
MAKE HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS DOILIES
MINI APPOINTMENT
HAVE GREAT QUIET TIMES
MAKE SUGAR SCRUB
It is so hard for me to believe that in exactly 7 days, this semester will be over. And I will be a second-semester senior. ahhhhh...
2 comments:
I know how it feels to say good-bye over and over again. (David and I were a long distance relationship for a year.) It sucks! It is so hard. I don't know about you, but I am no good at saying good-bye. Even today, when I think back on it, I start to tear up at the thought of that "last hug" and walking away from the one person who you would prefer to stand by every single minute!
I guess what I am trying to say is: I know how hard it is to go through a time like this. Everyone says " you'll be back" or "it's only [insert amount of time here]". And, even though they are trying to make you feel better-- it just makes you feel alone and like no one understands. So--keep your head up! Like you said, this will be over soon!
Also, I constantly struggle with the idea that "every other wife is so much better at being a 'wife' than I am". The truth is, it is so much harder to be a student and a wife than one would imagine. Most days, something has to give. Most of the week David cooks dinner, or goes to the store, or does whatever chore--while I sit at the computer and write. It sucks. But, that's a relationship. And truthfully, I think we're the only ones comparing ourselves--I don't think the guys even notice what we "don't do" because they love us for who we are and what we do accomplish.
Keep your chin up! This too shall pass...
thanks stephania. you are right on!
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