Show Me.

I think one of my favorite forms of "quiet times" are listening to music.

When I was a little girl, my mom tried to instill in me the value of having a quiet time with God every day (God bless her for not only highlighting the importance of quiet time spent with God, but for embodying this discipline every single day I can remember). However, I regret to admit, it became so legalistic inside my twisted little mind that it has carried a certain stigma with it. Because, I am a third year seminary student who feels like a daily quiet time gets me tallies on the "pro" side of my score sheet or a pretty jewel in my crown.

For the past year or so, however, God has been deconstructing my view of what a true quiet time is.

I realize that writing something like this could oft regard me as a liberal, postmodern, hippy-like, Christian but God knows my heart. And so I write on...

For me, personally, I do not as easily breathe and experience God through opening the Bible. Don't get me wrong, there have been many instances where I feel as though God jumps off the page of my Bible at me (and wildly enough, I adore studying the Bible in my classes. I could read commentaries and Bible dictionaries for hours and just marvel at scripture). But... when I listen to music, God seeps in to my pores, senses, heart, emotions, etc. etc. etc. I experience God so intimately when I take a walk around a beautiful neighborhood or lake or park. I sense God when I engage in a beautiful conversation with my husband, or mom and dad, or Kaylyn, or Dena, or Sarah. I am so mutually encouraged by hearing how God is working in and through the lives of those closest to me. I see God when I travel to different countries, places, cities, etc. and see new sights my eyes have never beheld. (ex: when I watched Eat, Pray, Love I had a seriously spiritual experience relishing in the scenery and praising my Lord. Even though the movie did not conclude with Julia bowing down before Him, I did.) I love watching Planet Earth. I praise God with every crazy creature that is introduced that has never been filmed before and my mind has never imagined before. I adore singing my guts out to God when I drive my 5-hour drive to California every week. I covet this time, odd as it may sound. Because for 5 hours, it's me and God (and sometimes, Stan). I love to write to God. I have pages and pages numbering the hundreds on my computer of my most intimate thoughts and prayers to God. And I am so inspired by reading past words and seeing the ways in which God moved (i.e. all of those prayers about a future husband have resulted in a man God could have made only for me, all of those prayers wondering where my parents would possibly end up and they are in such a beautiful church with a beautiful senior pastor). I am so humbled when I sit down and blog only to receive a message or phone call that my words or experiences were just what someone needed to read.

So maybe, for me, in my personal season of experiencing God, this is my most appropriate form of worship. Obviously, I have the utmost respect for those I know who pour over scripture for hours on end and I am in no way claiming that I disagree with this form of quiet time. But until I get over this certain stigma, it is not for me yet. Because it is not about a jewel or a tally mark: It's about my heart.

Which is why I constantly am quoting from different sources of inspiration: books, songs, movies, sermons, etc. Because those are my quiet times. Those are the ways in which God reveals Himself most intimately to me. And I want to pass them on. Because they are so beautiful.

Today, I am listening to a song that has stopped me in my tracks. It is called Show Me, by Audrey Assad. Here are the words: please read them as your prayer, (if that is your thing...and maybe even if it is not):

You could plant me like a tree beside a river
You could tangle me in soil and let my roots run wild
And I would blossom like a flower in the desert
But for now just let me cry

You could raise me like a banner in a battle
Put victory like a fire behind my shining eyes
And I would drift like falling snow over the embers
But for now just let me lie

Bind up these broken bones
Mercy bend and breathe me back to life
But not before You show me how to die

Set me like a star before the morning
Like a song that steals the darkness from a world asleep
And I'll illuminate the path You've laid before me
But for now just let me be

Bind up these broken bones
Mercy bend and breathe me back to life
But not before You show me how to die
Oh, not before You show me how to die

So let me go like a leaf upon the water
Let me brave the wild currents flowing to the sea
And I will disappear into a deeper beauty
But for now just stay with me
God, for now just stay with me






...This was my quiet time today.