arts & crafts time!

After a day of looking at amazing apartment therapy homes yesterday, I am inspired to kick my apartment in gear. We have lived here for almost 5 months already and it feels like one week.

So, today I went to Hobby Lobby and purchased some adorable frames, shelves, paint, and sand paper.


Hopefully, I will have pictures to post soon :)

I love...

1. Cold Tangerines (not the book this time...actually the cold fruit...I bought some from Sprouts yesterday and they are incredible)
2. Running on the treadmill while Ellen is on (I went to my apt's gym yesterday and commandeered the whole place in order to get them to play Ellen)...don't worry, the guy that was in the gym prior to me laughed almost at every line...he was secretly glad I changed the channel :)
3. Cooking! (I got the chance to cook last night for the first time in an embarassingly long time and it was delightful...Even if Matt was home 2 hours late...but this is about things I love so...)
4. Gingerbread syrup (my store just got our early shipment only available for partner sampling :) If you know me, you know just how passionate I was when that shipment arrive)
5. The Marcel the Shell with Shoes On video that Kay had on her blog the other day. obsessed.
6. Sister Wives. Such a guilty pleasure. So fascinating and disturbing all at the same time. I just want to share Jesus with them...
7. My new winter do
8. That my legs are sore from running :) and my butt too! :)
9. Hobby Lobby
10. Rainbows. Saw the most beautiful one today...mmmm...
11. My new fall nailpolish colors...!

Show Me.

I think one of my favorite forms of "quiet times" are listening to music.

When I was a little girl, my mom tried to instill in me the value of having a quiet time with God every day (God bless her for not only highlighting the importance of quiet time spent with God, but for embodying this discipline every single day I can remember). However, I regret to admit, it became so legalistic inside my twisted little mind that it has carried a certain stigma with it. Because, I am a third year seminary student who feels like a daily quiet time gets me tallies on the "pro" side of my score sheet or a pretty jewel in my crown.

For the past year or so, however, God has been deconstructing my view of what a true quiet time is.

I realize that writing something like this could oft regard me as a liberal, postmodern, hippy-like, Christian but God knows my heart. And so I write on...

For me, personally, I do not as easily breathe and experience God through opening the Bible. Don't get me wrong, there have been many instances where I feel as though God jumps off the page of my Bible at me (and wildly enough, I adore studying the Bible in my classes. I could read commentaries and Bible dictionaries for hours and just marvel at scripture). But... when I listen to music, God seeps in to my pores, senses, heart, emotions, etc. etc. etc. I experience God so intimately when I take a walk around a beautiful neighborhood or lake or park. I sense God when I engage in a beautiful conversation with my husband, or mom and dad, or Kaylyn, or Dena, or Sarah. I am so mutually encouraged by hearing how God is working in and through the lives of those closest to me. I see God when I travel to different countries, places, cities, etc. and see new sights my eyes have never beheld. (ex: when I watched Eat, Pray, Love I had a seriously spiritual experience relishing in the scenery and praising my Lord. Even though the movie did not conclude with Julia bowing down before Him, I did.) I love watching Planet Earth. I praise God with every crazy creature that is introduced that has never been filmed before and my mind has never imagined before. I adore singing my guts out to God when I drive my 5-hour drive to California every week. I covet this time, odd as it may sound. Because for 5 hours, it's me and God (and sometimes, Stan). I love to write to God. I have pages and pages numbering the hundreds on my computer of my most intimate thoughts and prayers to God. And I am so inspired by reading past words and seeing the ways in which God moved (i.e. all of those prayers about a future husband have resulted in a man God could have made only for me, all of those prayers wondering where my parents would possibly end up and they are in such a beautiful church with a beautiful senior pastor). I am so humbled when I sit down and blog only to receive a message or phone call that my words or experiences were just what someone needed to read.

So maybe, for me, in my personal season of experiencing God, this is my most appropriate form of worship. Obviously, I have the utmost respect for those I know who pour over scripture for hours on end and I am in no way claiming that I disagree with this form of quiet time. But until I get over this certain stigma, it is not for me yet. Because it is not about a jewel or a tally mark: It's about my heart.

Which is why I constantly am quoting from different sources of inspiration: books, songs, movies, sermons, etc. Because those are my quiet times. Those are the ways in which God reveals Himself most intimately to me. And I want to pass them on. Because they are so beautiful.

Today, I am listening to a song that has stopped me in my tracks. It is called Show Me, by Audrey Assad. Here are the words: please read them as your prayer, (if that is your thing...and maybe even if it is not):

You could plant me like a tree beside a river
You could tangle me in soil and let my roots run wild
And I would blossom like a flower in the desert
But for now just let me cry

You could raise me like a banner in a battle
Put victory like a fire behind my shining eyes
And I would drift like falling snow over the embers
But for now just let me lie

Bind up these broken bones
Mercy bend and breathe me back to life
But not before You show me how to die

Set me like a star before the morning
Like a song that steals the darkness from a world asleep
And I'll illuminate the path You've laid before me
But for now just let me be

Bind up these broken bones
Mercy bend and breathe me back to life
But not before You show me how to die
Oh, not before You show me how to die

So let me go like a leaf upon the water
Let me brave the wild currents flowing to the sea
And I will disappear into a deeper beauty
But for now just stay with me
God, for now just stay with me






...This was my quiet time today.

Lately...

-I almost died in a plane crash...I wish I were kidding

- Matt scored the winning goal (and 2 more!) in his soccer championship :) 

- Tried a date (the fruit) shake at Hadley's off the I10 for the first time (oh, and saw the huge dinosaur that I evidently had missed for the past 5 years...)

- Went to Wisconsin for our senior Kern retreat and met 50 other amazing people who have had this same gift bestowed upon them. It was truly a rich time had by all

- Woke up with a cricket by my head on our bed. Did not go over well...

- Had a really great meeting with the Jr. High pastor at my church & am praying about heading back in to youth ministry :) 

- Started watching Friday Night Lights...verdict is still out...

- Currently spending 5 days in Cali with Matt & my parents enjoying fall break

- happy Columbus day! 

- Got all of our wedding flicks back...omg.

- Listened to the Freedom From The Fear of Man sermon for the 5th time: still got more out of it

- Can't stop watching Sister Wives. fascinating. 

- I really am feeling the weight of the semester already. I think I am going to take next week off. I need it

- Got to a new high level on brickbreaker. pretty exciting :) such. a. loser.

- Matt & I celebrate 4 months of marriage tomorrow. Gonna celebrate Disneyland style.

- Still have the itch to chop all my hair off.

- I got asked to endorse a book! When I have more information, I will disclose :) 

- During my meeting this week, I learned to much about myself and where I am along this crazy path called life and faith. I loved that I really backed up what was coming out of my mouth with the belief of my heart

- I get to enjoy this whole week with my husband! He has fall break so he is off & we get to spend some QT in California with my parents and each other. such a treat!

- I have a chance to talk and meet with a girl who has a potential to become a kindred spirit. We partnered up for a project in class and we have to interview each other and I can't wait! 

- I have been in a habit of underlining the word "refuge" as it refers to the Lord in the Bible and it pops up everywhere! I love the analogy of my Lord as my refuge. So comforting.

- Heard news that Matt & I are gaining another NEPHEW! Katelyn is having a boy! So far, the front running name is Max, but we shall see!!!

- Saturday we had a huge ol' family gathering at a local bar that played the Ohio State game. We all gathered for my cousin's birthday and it was such a sweet time! Matt **(who bleeds blue & gold, michigan) even supported the bucks with his scarlet and grey

My dear friends, I hope this post finds you well, happy, healthy and refreshed. I pray you will be encouraged this week and find beauty in the entering season of Fall. Fall is my favorite. Even though I do not get to experience the same fall as my minnesotan readers, I still adore it. Those of you who have the opportunity to see color on the trees, please do me a favor and go for a walk and breath in the beauty of color around you. You are fortunate. As for me, I will just go walk around Fall at Disneyland tomorrow :) 

Shalom, my friends.

Sara. Caitlyn. Julia.

So, as of late, I have been repeating a few lines in my head over and over: Two come from songs. One comes from a movie.  One is short. One is medium. One is long. But no matter their length, I hope their content is as impacting for you as they have been for me.

#1

"Compare where you are to where you want to be and you'll get nowhere"

I have been listening to an obscene (in the very best way) amount of Sara Bareilles' new CD, Kaleidoscope Heart. Hidden among track number two, otherwise known as uncharted, is this little nugget that is so peppy and upbeat, but holds so much truth. It made me think: How many times have I compared where I am to where I want to be and ended up feeling overwhelmed and under-accomplished.

I mean, I am 27. When I was 19, I assumed that by 27 I would have two kids, a part-time job working in my dad's church, living next to my parents, with a gate that separated my back yard from my parent's so the kids could run back and forth...however the truth is that I am 27, married (*to the very best man imaginable), no kids, no gate, no church, with parents who live 400 miles away. I am not exactly where I wanted to be.

And for a long time, (and, let's be honest some days still) I sulked and cried because my life did not end up as planned. But comparing gets me nowhere. Not only comparing me to me but me to you or you to me. It does neither of us any good. So from now on this little phrase is my mantra. If I compare where I am to where I want to be I will get nowhere.

p.s. another song among my fave's from this jem is called "let the rain". Again. It is hidden among a catchy melody but holds unending amounts of truth. Rather than having me gush about it. Go buy it. Consider it an investment.



#2

"What I thought I could handle, what I thought I could take, what I thought would destroy me leaves me stronger in its wake" -Caitlyn Smith, Crushed and Created

Enough said.


#3

Last week, my mom took me to see Eat, Pray, Love because if you know either of us, Julia is our queen. The following is a scene in the movie when she is in Rome and visits a seemingly dingy place. The dialogue, however, reveals the true beauty. Enjoy:

“A friend took me to the most amazing place the other day. It’s called the Augusteum. Octavian Augustus built it to house his remains. When the barbarians came they trashed it a long with everything else. The great Augustus, Rome’s first true great emperor. How could he have imagined that Rome, the whole world as far as he was concerned, would be in ruins. It’s one of the quietest, loneliest places in Rome. The city has grown up around it over the centuries. It feels like a precious wound, a heartbreak you won’t let go of because it hurts too good. We all want things to stay the same. Settle for living in misery because we’re afraid of change, of things crumbling to ruins. Then I looked at around to this place, at the chaos it has endured – the way it has been adapted, burned, pillaged and found a way to build itself back up again. And I was reassured, maybe my life hasn’t been so chaotic, it’s just the world that is, and the real trap is getting attached to any of it. Ruin is a gift. Ruin is the road to transformation.”

The last two sentences in particular had me in tears in two seconds flat. All of us have that thing in our lives that is our ruin. You probably already have in your mind what yours is. For me, it was a significant (or rather, two) ministry pain my family endured. For years, it was our ruin. 

For too many years.

For years, I felt burned and pillaged but now I see how it has become my transformation. I am still in the process of trying to view it as a gift. But I'm sure I'll get there...