Stirring & Robbing...

So the past month has been nothing less than a crazy roller coaster of emotions.

Our missional community has been going through the book of Philippians. Well, we came upon the topic of what stirs our affections for God and what robs our affections for God.


So, for homework, we decided to go home and discuss with our spouse what things are that stir our emotions for God and what things are that rob our affections. I want to share my list for you and I want you to start thinking this week of what things are that do the same for you. I think the awareness of these things can have a lasting impact on our spiritual health.

**note: things that stir our affections for God are things that draw us nearer to Him. Things that bring praise and thankfulness to our thoughts and mind. Things that rob our affection are things that keep us from dwelling in that Shalom with God. These things do not have to take hours out of your day, they could be things that take only but a second but hinder your relationship with God.*

Things that Stir my Affections toward God:

1) Worship music. I know this one does not come as much of a shock. I could listen to the same Hillsong song for weeks on repeat without ever getting sick of it. I run to the same 7-song playlist every week and it never gets old. I just love worshiping by myself (or in a community of believers) in the car, running, at home, at the coffee shop, etc. I just love. Recently, I started taking my favorite worship songs and journaling them out as a prayer to God. Very affective (effective? don't know which one) for me.

2) Reading the Bible. Not having any length or time constraint. I think those two things are huge for me because a few years ago, I probably would have put reading the Bible on things that rob my affections due to the legalistic stigma I had attached to "quiet times". But lately, the Bible has just come alive for me and I have written down several verses on note cards that I am trying to commit to memory. I love it. Plus, if I am going in to spiritual battle, I better have my weapons on me and, in this season of my life, I find myself in a near constant state of battle.

3) Running. WHAT?!?! This is so anti-what I would have written a few years ago! But I seriously am loving it. Many of you know I used to travel 6-hours to and from school every single week. That was a lot of time spent alone in my car...and I loved every minute of it. Well, running has sort of taken that spot for me. I love the time spent alone, with just me, my iPod and my thoughts. I covet that time now.

4) Rain. Every single time it rains it seriously feels like God is replenishing and reviving my soul. I feel like I am being inwardly cleansed. I might even couple rain with all-things-nature. Whenever I drive up to Sedona I want to cry at how creative and beautiful God's creation is. This is another reason why I love traveling as much as I do because I get to see portions of God's creation like I have never seen it before (ps...apparently we have discovered a new planet that is sustainable for life?!?!?! they are calling it the "goldy-locks" planet because it is not too hot and not too cold, it is just right....praise God! that is crazy!) 

5)  Coffeeshops. For the same reason I love running, I love coffeeshops. I come and sit for hours and get lost in sermons, songs, espresso, journals, etc. etc. Love them. Love them.

6) Theology. Studying theology, for me, is something that greatly increases and stirs my affections for God because I just continue to uncover and uncover more truth. God's word is incredible. I would add to this portion of my list listening to inspired pastors and theologians. I marvel and praise God for the mind that they have been given to be able to communicate and process such deep truths.

7) Vulnerability. In letting other people in to my weakness, hurts, fears, failures, etc I am able to experience the community in which God desperately longs for me to dwell. One specific friend that jumps out in my mind through this season is my friend, Mallorie. I met Mallorie several years ago because she was dating one of my friends. But by the grace of God, Mallorie was brought back in to my life and even in to our missional community. Mallorie is one of the most real individuals I have ever encountered...and I mean real. She has no walls up no defenses, you just see Mallorie's spirit with skin on when you look at her. She is so willing to be vulnerable and invite you to be vulnerable as well. She has walked alongside me faithfully throughout this season of my life and is the type of friend that, when she asks how you are doing, she means it with every fiber of her being. She gives you her undivided attention. For this reason, she has broken through much of my ridiculously prideful exterior and has seen the core of my heart and its brokenness. And in that, I see God. Because in that moment, amidst the tears and hurt, she has stood by me and has prayed for me so faithfully and has been a literal presence of God to me. And I would have never experienced that if not for vulnerability. I hope you all have a friend like Mallorie in your life one day. ...what's best is that she has no idea she's doing it...it's just natural to her. <3

Things that Rob my affection for God:

1) Worry. I could write that one down before I even think for one second. Worry is probably the single-handed most devastating thing that I struggle with in my relationship with God. And several people may dismiss worry or even stand up under that as some sort of twisted pride but I am here to tell you that my worry is a willful sin that I choose to participate in. And it shows my lack of trust in the very God who created me. Because, during this season of my life, worry has become my bread. It has fed me in to fits of panic and anxiety that I have never known. And I wonder in this season, "Where are You, God?" But today, in Streams in the Desert, the verse attached to the devotion was from Isaiah 45:3 - "I will give you treasures of darkness." what? did I read that right? treasures? in darkness? The devotion continues to say, "If you seem to be living in deep darkness because God is working in strange and mysterious ways, do not be afraid. Simply go forward in faith and in love, never doubting Him. He is watching and will bring goodness and beauty from all of your pain and tears." I bolded that hoping that it will jump off the page and bring comfort to your souls. If anyone is feeling alone in this moment, please know that I have been there. Heck, I am there. But I am choosing in this moment of deep darkness, to hold on to God.

2) Comparison. This is poison. I compare myself to people all the time. I compare my blog to other people's (so embarassing). I compare my successes and failures against my friends all of the time. And it is poisonous to me. It gets me absolutely nowhere to see that other friends are at a different stage of life than me and to deem their stage any more successful than where I am. And people can tell me all they want that, "God has you in this stage for such a time as this", "Praise God you didn't get that job because it just shows that he has something bigger in store for you", "God is faithful, He won't give you more than you can bear", etc. etc. etc. the pity responses go on and on and I'm not saying that those responses aren't heartfelt because I'm sure they were, but in this stage of my life, no one can bring the salve to my spirit except God and God, Himself....if I will let Him.
I beg you to run away from the temptation to compare yourself to anyone. Please don't do it. 

3) Laziness. After working early hours at Starbucks, it is very easy for me to plop down on the couch, especially after a long run, and get lost in Dr. Phil for hours. I had to literally pry myself off my couch this afternoon to come to the Coffeeshop because I knew in my head that I would be so much happier after I came here and spent time with music (and espresso), truth, scripture, etc. pumped in to my veins. 

4) Legalism. If I'm honest, I still fight the battle against legalism every single day. It's gotten easier, that's for sure, but it is something, when I give in to temptation, definitely robs my affection for God. 

5) Selfishness. This robs my affection big time. Because it focuses all of my time, effort and attention on myself rather than on God, Himself. Selfishness in a marriage is the kiss of death. And it beckons deeply. I long to focus on myself and on the things Matt is not doing to serve me but, in that very action, I am focusing on myself! How ironic!

This exercise has been something that is very helpful to me. Because having a list like this written out allows me to physically stare this in the face and long for the top-half of this list and run away from the bottom-half. I hope you will all find time to conduct your own list sometime soon. And this list is more of a rough-draft that will probably be ever-changing for me but for now, this is it. Feel free to share yours with me...I find it really fascinating to see how different people's lists can be! PS one of the things that stirs Matt's affection for God is grading math tests....??? precious.

Selah.