megan & michael sitting in a tree...!

This is Megan.

Megan is my friend.

This is Michael.

on the left...

he is also my friend.

Well a few weeks ago, these friends of mine got engaged.

and I am so happy for them.

Megan is just so excited to get married and keeps texting me all sorts of fun wedding questions, being that I just went through the process (& I feel so flattered and unworthy to answer all of her questions) so i figured it would be far better for me to simply blog it out...so megan, here are my best shots at advice for you (and any other bride hopeful who might be reading :) )...

• Choose a photographer you know - I feel so blessed and fortunate to have the most talented photographers at sessionninephotography capture our very best day. However, I unfortunately know too many friends who invited a photographer to participate in their most special day and pay them only for them to peace out along with their photos and money. So ask for testimonials and phone numbers of people whose weddings they have shot that would vouch for them
• Have someone, anyone, a videographer, your uncle, videotape your wedding - This was something I praise God my sweet husband was very stubborn about. I know videographers can be so costly and I did not want to burden my parents with the bill of a videographer. But luckily, Matt knew someone who would come shoot our wedding at no cost to us until we have money to pay for it. And I want to look at our video every 4 minutes. Because in the height of emotions and excitement, I regret to say I can hardly remember a second of our ceremony. 
• Have a first look, just the two of you - I, personally, do not fall under the age-old-tradition of the bride seeing her husband while she walks down the aisle. Matt & I had a special moment, just the two of us and our photographer, to see each other. We were forced to do so because our ceremony was at sunset so if we had not seen each other, we would have no sunny pictures of the two of us on our wedding day. Plus, it felt so intimate to have a few moments alone before the hustle & bustle of wedding day set in. It was such a special time for us to connect and snap a few photos. I know so many brides who would fight me on this, but again...this is my time to give my advice :) ...so there...
• look in to his eyes, and his eyes alone when you walk down the aisle - I remember walking down that aisle and I will for the rest of my life. Because my eyes found Matt's as soon as I stepped out of that car, and they did not leave him until we faced the crowd to walk back out of the ceremony together. I have seen so many weddings where the couple's eyes are on everyone but one another. And it makes me want to yell, "cut!" and run up on stage and re-position the couple and start over again. 
• Get pre-marital counseling - I know you already probably will, but I could not more strongly recommend pre-marital counseling. It brought up so much stuff for us to talk about and we still talk about it to this day. 
• Let the guys wear suits - Our groomsmen wore suits and they all thanked us for the amount of money it saved them. Or it gave them an excuse to invest in a suit they would have forever.
• Do not give in to sexual temptation before your wedding night - Matt & I set very strict boundaries that we did not cross. And I cannot tell you how thankful I am that we did so. So often when I look at him now, I am so thankful that what we share is a result of our marriage ceremony and we did not fail prior to it. It is so worth the wait. Every second of it.
• wear your lingerie - as you know, I just wore the lingerie you got for me for the first time on Sunday. that is messed up! I have done a horrible job of wearing all the beautiful pieces that people bought for me or I found for myself. This is as much a challenge for myself as it is for you! I thought before I got married that I would always wear it but everyone told me I wouldn't: unfortunately they were right. 
• Ask your married friends to be real with you - I feel as though I entered married life with rose-colored glasses. All I heard from everyone was how, "marriage was the best decision other than asking Christ to be my Savior that I ever made", "You will just love it", etc. etc. etc. love. love. love. gush. gush. gush. But when we actually got married and I would confess hardships in our marriage, all these same married friends would be like, "oh my gosh I know! that was hard for us too!" and I wanted to say well where was THAT three months ago!? So get real live stories of real life marriage from people...and not only the lovey gushy gory details. :) 
• Do not memorize your vows - if you choose to write your own vows, do not attempt to memorize them. This was passed on to me by both friends and pastors. If you try to memorize them, you will get so focused on remembering them that they will overtake your entire ceremony. If you choose to write your own, simply print them on pretty paper and have the pastor hand them to you. Or simply repeat the age old vows that so many who have gone before you have done...
• Buy two pair of your pretty wedding underwear - (submitted by Kaylyn Unterkofler) Make sure you have an extra pair of your pretty underwear because, let's be honest, you're under layers of heavy, not breathy wedding dress. You're gonna dance the night away. You're gonna get sweaty. Before you do the deed, make sure to change undies...or...
• Take a bath when you get to your hotel room - Matt & I took a bath first. This helped me, personally, immensely. Because I was clean and relaxed when we got out. And that, for me, made all the difference. It allowed us to slow down. Romance each other in the tub. And drink a glass of champagne and relax. And pray. And then he got out, and I stayed behind and got dressed... :) 
• Don't schedule your honeymoon or your gift opening or anything early the next morning - We slept in until noon the next morning. Or at least we stayed in bed. And it was so lovely knowing we had nowhere to be and could just sleep and bask in one another. I know so many people who have to be up at like 5am the next morning to catch a flight & it seems like such a drag! Because then you lose a few days of your honeymoon trying to catch up on sleep! In fact, we waited a week after our wedding to leave for our honeymoon. I loved it because, as a virginal bride, I was so sore! For the solid week after (yes, I'm being brutally honest) I wanted to cry. So by the honeymoon, I was at least a bit more comfortable. 
• Only put yourself in charge of enjoying your day, come D-day - (submitted by Jessica Charney) In other words, you should have no other job on your wedding day other than fully experiencing and enjoying every emotion. Don't let anyone come to you with any problems, hiccups, etc. Designate someone else to that task. That's what family is for. You just enjoy. It only happens one day. 

So, anyways, my dear friend, I hope these help! I'm sure I will think of several more along the way! Congratulations. I could not be more happy for you two. <3

stan and the venti coffee man...

this week there have been two separate, unrelated incidents that have restored my faith in humanity...I mean it's not like my faith was in shambles, but it is always nice to have it strengthened!

stan

This week, as I drove to California for my first of many trips, I felt as though my car was swerving a bit more than it should. But the road had been newly paved and I assumed it hadn't been properly pounded down by the huge steam roller thing. I approached Quartzite (and drove through it in a flash because it is approximately 2 exits) and kept ignoring my swerving car...until I passed the last exit and was about a half mile out of town and my tire popped. Luckily, I had been scared enough by my swerviness that I hadn't been driving that fast and it wasn't too traumatic (let's be honest Matt, my mom and my dad would beg to differ as it took me three minutes through sobbing tears to explain that I had not been in a fiery car crash but was on the side of the road with a flat...my first flat ever). 

After what seemed like a lifetime of waiting on the side of the road having no idea what to do, and while on the phone with a husband who was basically unable to come to my rescue, I heard a tiny horn honk. I looked behind me and saw a disheveled man with one button on his shirt properly buttoned and dirty feet and approximately five teeth in his mouth and a duct taped on windshield walking toward my car. My wave of sobs was so intense that he informed me to take a breath because, in his words, "I was actually scaring him!"

I quickly learned that this man's name was stan, that he had a tire blow out on him the week before, that he always kept a cooler with ice water in his trunk, that he ate sour patch kids, that his father had just passed away and he was on his way visit his widowed mother in Indio. 

He was so kind as to take me to a tire store, wait for two hours with me while the tire store took their sweet time to switch my rim from one tire to the next because the man in front of us complained about how long it was taking so, naturally, that translated to 'take longer please' and he took me back to my car and changed my tire. 

No kidnapping. No funny business. Just a passerby who was willing to help a stranded driver.

doug, i think

So I just moved to a new store and am still learning the customer's names and drinks but I am pretty sure this man's name is Doug. Doug, I think, works from home (or Starbucks) and sits at our store for hours while doing his work and ordering refills on coffee...which is fine with me because he actually abides by our refill policy and doesn't bring in a six-day-old-crusty-cup-with-red-lip-stick-on-the-rim-claiming-that-it-was-his...yes, your local baristas have seen pretty much every attempt at penny pinching. 

But Doug is different. Last week, as is custom for many days, Doug ordered his coffee and sat. A few hours and a few refills later, Doug was packed up for the day and ready to leave...but not with out one last cup of joe. He came up to the counter and asked for one more venti coffee. I informed the barista at the register, who had just clocked on for the day, that she should only charge him for a refill because he had previously ordered a beverage. 

This is where it gets good....

Without blinking an eye, he said, "no, no, no...I need to pay full price for this one. This is for my wife, not for me so I need to be charged." 

Shocking? I thought so...because it reminded me that there are still people with integrity in this world, driving the roads and ordering coffee.

3 months...

Well yesterday, Matt & I celebrated *(ok we really didn't do anything, but we said happy anniversary!) three months of marriage. This three month journey has really seemed like so much longer than three measly little months. We have been through far more in three short months, ninety-some-odd days, than I anticipated, and here is what I have learned:

• I really love to cook. Prior to this, I knew I liked to bake, but cooking was a realm I never really conquered before. And I love it. :) Not only do I love it, but I am good at it!
• Marriage is hard! I went in to marriage with every preconceived ideal that anyone could ever have and it hurt me. Because marriage is work! It is the very best kind of work, but it is hard! 
• Marriage is the most intense act of selflessness I have ever engaged in. I'm sure having a child will bring me to another whole level but for now, this step in marriage has been huge! I am not trying to toot my own horn by explaining all of the ways I have served Matt, but it is definitely a huge act of putting him first, in every situation and I have learned the hard way in some situations, but I am so much better for it. 
• There is no I in team. corny. true. believe it.
• Waiting to have sex until marriage, for me, was totally and completely worth it. At work, a few of my Christian unmarried friends have recently asked me if I am glad I waited til marriage and the answer is o.m.g. yes. Before June 12, I always secretly wondered if I would wake up June 13 and regret waiting. nope. To go along with that, sex is vital to the well-being of a relationship. I will be vulnerable *(as I usually always am on my blog) and share that there have been a few days where we have not been intimate and I can always tell in our attitudes toward one another.

If you are married, stop reading this and go have sex with your husband. 

• Oh, and another thing...another single friend of mine who is remaining a virgin until marriage asked me last week if, on our wedding night, I felt guilty for the sexual acts I engaged in (and this was a question I asked my married friends & had great concern about) and the answer? not. at. all. Being able to see his wedding ring on his finger and seeing mine and flashing back to moments of our marriage ceremony helped me but there were no feelings of guilt and I felt God was blessing our marriage bed. Anyways, enough of that...

• Weekly dates are so vital.
• I am not a morning person. 
• Now that I am in my own apartment, I really like/need to keep things super clean. Growing up, my mom always freaked out on me when clothes were on the floor or my bathroom wasn't clean. Now I get it. It drives me nuts. I love waking up in the morning to a tidy house with no dishes in the sink and I love crawling in to bed having to fold back the covers and take off the decorative pillows.
• I have to beat my body in to submission, as 1 Corinthians 9 says. Generally, I want to lay on the couch rather than doing that extra load of laundry, going to the gym, etc. etc. etc. and I can't tell you how many times a day I quote this verse: No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize. (1 Cor. 9:12)
• I do NOT do finances. and I am SO thankful that my husband does. Praise Jesus for a husband who checks our bank accounts twelve times a day. 
• I am stronger than I think I am. The past week, I have dealt with a dead car battery and a blown out tire on the highway on the way to california. And I'm still alive. Thus, I am stronger than I think I am. 
• Pre-Marital counseling is SO worth it. Take the time, energy and effort, if you are not married, and go see a regular counselor. Sets you up for success. Matt & I didn't do as much as I wished we had but it is a jewel.
• Some days, I have to CHOOSE to love Matt. Love is a choice. So cliche, I know. But seriously, so true.

Anyways, these are just a few of the things I have learned on my short journey thus far. If you are single, live up your single life! love it! embrace it! because it is such a gift! I am so fond of my single years with roommates and girls nights and all the beauty that comes along with it...

arch enemy: splenda

ok, my dear friends...many of you may already know (or have read my facebook status) that I hate-hate-hate-loathe-loathe-loathe:

splenda

I know I am immediately creating enemies with approximately 98% of women in the world who swear by faux sugar substitutes, but I am ok with that as long as I can scare just a few out of dumping the little yellow packet down the garbage rather than in your bevvies.

A few years ago, we had a regular customer who would order her usual beverage at the bux (which consisted of about 8 splenda) a few times a day. However, one day she came in and stopped us from going about making her usual drink. She informed us she had just come from the doctor's office due to severe stomach pains. After a few routine tests, her doctor concluded that she had holes in her stomach lining. His first question? 

do you drink splenda?

He warned her never to drink splenda again because he sees cases like this every day. 

Naturally, I told everyone I knew to stop drinking splenda. but then the warning wore off and I sort of would bring it up in conversations here and there (i.e. when one of my partners would drink it, I would warn them against it). 

Until last night...another customer struck again! He came in and had to switch up his regular drink because he had just come from the doctor's office and was told he had holes in HIS stomach lining due to splenda! 

The moral of this story? STOP DRINKING SPLENDA!!!!!