LOST

I know I'm catching on a little late, but I just became obsessed with LOST (during the last month of my semester...you know, right before all of my major papers were due?). Matt and I watched 2 seasons in 3 weeks. Netflix allows you to watch each season online immediately but Kaylyn was so gracious to lend us Season 3 on DVD and now it's up on the big screen...much scarier. I am only on episode 1 so DON'T RUIN IT. I just met Juliette, and saw their view of the plane crash. So brilliant.

I love...

1) ginger ale on airplanes.
2) a clean car.
3) pistachios.
4) rubbing my face when i don't have makeup on.
5) post secret.
6) date nights.
7) boots.
8) looking at christmas lights while drinking hot cocoa.
9) my mom's homemade pizza.
10) journaling.
11) netflix.

I will never be nice on an airplane...

I can't be nice on airplanes.
I get conversation claustrophobia...in case you don't know what that is, it is real. I have it. If I don't know you, and we are contained in a vessel flying thousands of feet above the air and I have to turn my head to talk to you so I can't see outside (I always sit nearest the window) I just get queezy and absolutely crazy.
Last night, during my weekly flight to California, I felt so sad for the girl two rows in front of me. She had clearly just been through a very long day as she was the last one to run on the plane with flushed cheeks and luggage strewn about. It gets worse. She gets seated next to this man in the aisle row catty (kitty? cadie?) corner behind her. Not only did he talk to her the entire flight (which was only 56 minutes, but still...) but she had to turn nearly backwards just to listen to this man who chatted her ear off...
So if you get seated next to me on an airplane and I don't know you....sorry. I will be the girl next to you completely silent, avoiding eye contact lest you attempt to start random, unnecessary conversation. It's not you. It's me.

The Suitcase

Ever since I was a little girl I have been enchanted at the idea of the perfect suitcase. I would watch t.v. and see twenty-somethings all dolled up in the most perfectly coordinated skinny jeans, boots, plaid button down, bangles, earrings, hair, etc. and I always envied what their suitcases must have looked like when they were all packed for vacation.
I am not talking about the perfect literal suitcase itself. But what was inside.
I love packing for trips.
I love finding those certain clothes in my wardrobe that I will choose to represent myself and my entire wardrobe for those 5-7 days of vacationing. My mom does not appreciate this quite as much. I generally will go and by 3 new shirts and a new pair of shoes to which she replies, "These people have never even seen what is in your wardrobe now! Why do you need new clothes?" To which I just shrug my shoulders knowing that I absolutely needed that new jacket or those new boots.

Well I just got back from Michigan. And I am happy to report that for the first time in my life, I had the suitcase I always dreamed of. I felt like a true grown up as I glanced down in my delicately packed, expertly planned out wardrobe tucked away in my suitcase.
It turns out I did not plan out any outfits that really went together so I still felt awkward most days attempting to mix and match outfits that were not necessarily destined to be together. But I gave it my best go and in the end the airport lost my suitcase anyway so maybe it's not really that important anyways.

Celebrate Good Times Come On

I am currently in the midst of a crisis of thinking.

What spurred this on?

For the past 25 years of my life, I have operated under the framework that God was displeased with me, my sin, my failures, etc. In my mind, I am simply not enough. I am not a good enough friend, daughter, student, child of God, artist, pianist, barista, girlfriend, sister, sister-in-law, aunt, writer, etc. etc. etc. Pretty much every role I play in my life, I assumed I was never enough. I constantly look at the ways I fail the people closest to me.

This week, I am taking a class entitled "The Wisdom of Henri Nouwen". This morning, we were asked to participate in a Lectio Divina, or a way of cultivating our friendship with Christ through merely spending time with him. Groundbreaking, right? This morning, we focused on the account of the Prodigal Son, which is chronicled in Luke 11 and the book The Return of the Prodigal Son: A Story of Homecoming, by Henri Nouwen.

During this prayer, it became clear to me that, even though I have not ever technically squandered my inheritance and came crawling back home, I feel like the son in this story who is coming home. Let me see if I can explain this further...

The son blows his entire inheritance money and lives an extravagent, offensive, indulgent lifestyle. After doing this, he comes crawling home hoping to become a servant in the house of his father. The text says, "When he was a long way off" his father saw him coming. This is to say before the son ever had a glimpse of his father he was already forgiven. What is even more beauitful is after the son offers a heartfelt apology, the father does not even continue in the conversation, but rather, immediately calls for a celebration.

This is so beautiful to me, as I feel like the son. Before I have even headed back home, I am forgiven. It is finished. All that is left for me to do is join the celebration that is occurring for me. I will continue to attempt to be the best version of me, in every role I play, but will accept that a fattened calf is being killed in honor of me.

Now, to say that life will be roses, cherries, honkeydoorey I need to rest in this offensive grace. I say it is offensive because it is that extensive, deep, accepting, loving, forgiving that it is nothing but offensive (in the very best way).

Henceforth, I will celebrate.

This is something that is posted on one of my MDiv professor's door to his office. I thought it was merely humorous. I obviously don't think men shouldn't be ordained :)

Top Ten Reasons Why Men Should Not Be Ordained


10. A man's place is in the army.

9. For men who have children, their duties might distract them from the responsibilities of being a parent.

8. Their physical build indicates that men are more suited to tasks such as chopping down trees and wrestling mountain lions. It would be "unnatural" for them to do other forms of work.

7. Man was created before woman. It is therefore obvious that man was a prototype. Thus, they represent an experiment, rather than the crowning achievement of creation.

6. Men are too emotional to be priests or pastors. This is easily demonstrated by their conduct at football games and watching basketball tournaments.

5. Some men are handsome; they will distract women worshipers.

4. To be ordained pastor is to nurture the congregation. But this is not a traditional male role. Rather, throughout history, women have been considered to be not only more skilled than men at nurturing, but also more frequently attracted to it. This makes them the obvious choice for ordination.

3. Men are overly prone to violence. No really manly man wants to settle disputes by any means other than by fighting about it. Thus, they would be poor role models, as well as being dangerously unstable in positions of leadership.

2. Men can still be involved in church activities, even without being ordained. They can sweep paths, repair the church roof, and maybe even lead the singing on Father's Day. By confining themselves to such traditional male roles, they can still be vitally important in the life of the Church.

1. In the New Testament account, the person who betrayed Jesus was a man. Thus, his lack of faith and ensuing punishment stands as a symbol of the subordinated position that all men should take.